The poor student's guide to mixology

7 ways to make cheap liquor taste better

These cocktails are some of the best for making bottom shelf, throat-burning alcohol taste great.

1. Make a Moscow mule with ginger ale instead of ginger beer.

The real version of this drink is vodka, ginger beer, and lime juice. BUT, ginger beer can be expensive. Ginger ale will be key to deadening the senseless violence that is cheap vodka without emptying your wallet.

Instructions here.

2. Make a white Russian with coffee creamer instead of Kahlua and cream.

Mix vodka, hazelnut or amaretto-flavored liquid coffee creamer (Coffee-Mate makes both), and a slice of lime. Typically this is made with Kahlua coffee liqueur, which is great but not the cheapest. Any flavoured sweet cream will accomplish the job of taking all of the attention away from the booze. Garnish with froot loops if you want to add some whimsy.

Instructions here.

3. Make a hurricane — and DIY the grenadine if you want.

Of the many rum punches out there, this is probably the most foolproof. Mix any rum you have on hand with orange juice, pineapple juice, a little bit of grenadine, and squeezed lime. Grenadine is actually pretty cheap, but if you don't want to buy it you can make it with just sugar, pomegranate juice, and lemon.

More instructions here and here.

4. Make a gin bucket.

For this you'll need cheap gin, a collection of different citrus fruits (limes, lemons, and oranges), Sprite or Squirt soda, a pan or bucket, and a turkey baster. It's perfect for summer parties, and there's so much sugary citrus flavor to cover the plastic bottle gin taste that you'll think you're drinking a Capri Sun.

One of many recipes here.

5. Combine SoCo and peach schnapps to make the Georgia peach.

This drink is just Southern Comfort and peach schnapps. Both ingredients are pretty good on their own, so this drink is very strong and very delicious.

Instructions here.

6. Mix tequila with lots of grapefruit juice and club soda.

  

To be specific: 1 part lime juice, 2 parts grapefruit juice (freshly squeezed ideally), 2 parts tequila, 3 parts club soda, and a spoonful of sugar. SO GOOD. Be generous with the citrus in all of the tequila drinks.

Instructions here. 

7. Franzia Sangria

Perhaps the easiest and cheapest sangria in history, this just requires Franzia burgundy, Sprite, orange juice, and a couple of Dole fruit cups (or real fruit if you're feeling more ambitious).

Instructions here.